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Apr. 6th, 2013

You and Me

Today I wanna talk about you, and the us that never happened (yet?).

I never thought I would be attracted to you since you aren't the usual kind of guys I use to crush on. But I find myself always seeking you when we have lectures, finding for excuses to text you without being obvious that I just wanna talk to you. I could never talk to you in school because you are always with your friends and I can't say that they are welcoming of someone that they do not know.

You caught my notice because you made me feel comfortable in your presence as compared to other guys since I get really nervous around them. When my friend pointed out that you didn't come to school, I would mostly pretend that I didn't notice. I didn't want them to notice that I was attracted to you.

There was once when we went home together and the silence between each conversation topic would make me really uncomfortable. I hardly feel that uncomfortable silence with strangers now because I don't really care/worry if our friendship takes another step. But with you, the feeling came back and that was when I knew I wanted to know more about you.

I heard rumours about another girl liking you and you didn't do anything when she came over and (did something to you that showed your closeness). I passed it off as just close friends. But I'm getting surer that she definitely likes you. I saw the photos she uploaded, I'm not sure if there's more photos to come, but from those that see, I can infer that something is going on. Oh, and I just remembered that she seem to take pictures of the two of you as compared to other guys. Another clue.

When my friends talk about how you two seem to have something going on, I have to ensure that my smile is put in place. But I'm not sure if my eyes show my discomfort. I think they do. I can only hope that they don't see it.
Did you know that because initially I thought we might have a chance, I went to ask my mum:
What if my boyfriend is a Christian?
She said she wouldn't object since it's my choice.

You don't do anything that give others a clue as to whether the rumours are true. I'm not going to wait for you to make any moves that would confirm/deny the rumours anymore. Instead, I'm gonna keep my eyes open to other possibilities. If you feel the same way I feel for you, please let me know before it's too late.


Now i just need to wait for bed time to sleep off this melancholy.

Oct. 13th, 2012

My Bangkok trip in July :)

This is long over due! Said I wanted to blog about it many months ago but I'm only going to do it now. Procrastinate much!

So anyway, I can't remember the exact date I went to Bangkok, but it should be around mid July. The weather was fine, but some days were drizzling. Street food was the best. And I tried something most people might think dirty... It's pig blood. Gross, you might say, and yes, I agree with you. At first. The thing itself actually doesn't have any taste or smell. Truthfully. My mum said it's good for me cause it'll wash out the dirty stuff inside me, so I won't get rash. Especially if we were overseas and I eat certain unclean food.

So anyway, let's talk about my shopping haul. I bought A LOT of things. A friend of mine went to Bangkok about a month before I did and bought 10 shirts on the first day and was stopped by his mum. Then I thought, "Wow, 10 shirts. That's a lot!" But then again, thinking about it, it ain't a lot. Which my dad helped to point out. He said, "Wait till you go there, we'll see what you get on the first day. 10 shirts is not a lot at all."
And it's the truth.

(Pics are taken a few weeks after my trip and are not organised according to the day I bought them)
IMG_0053[1]

Bought super lots of hairbands, thinking I could give them to my cousins. Turns out, my cousins rejected them cause it's too girly for them. Forgot about that!
And I bought the nail foil sticker too! There's glow-in-the-dark. No kidding. Haha, but since it's cheap, I reckon they'll chip very soon after you put them on. Have not tried it yet though. Will cross my fingers. Hope they last for at least a week before chipping!

Wanna guess what's my favourite item amongst them?
IMG_0054[1]

It's the bags! Super sweet and girly! My style, thank you very much.

IMG_0076[1]
The things you see on the left are my jeans. Finally bough my pink jeans! Haha, was very happy to find them, cause many places I searched do not have my size anymore, or they are button fly. Which I hate.

IMG_0055[2]
IMG_0056[2]
This are like cape kind of thing..? Not really good with these apparel names. Lol. They came with hideous looking top that is at the top.
IMG_0057[2]
I'm a girly girl, so of course there will be dresses!

We bought beds for our dogs too, cause it's super cheap there and their original ones are so dirty, I have to stop myself from thinking all the germs and stuff in it whenever I pick it up.
Puppies there are super cute, dad wanted to buy 1 back cause my mum seem to be more into it than me. Then thought twice about it when we mentioned it'll be more expensive than to get 1 in sg. But said if he strike 4D/TOTO (can't remember which) then he'll buy one back. And secretly, I wished that he did strike the top prize. But it never happened :(

So anyway, plans to fly back to Bangkok are on-going. So I'm excited, and truthfully, a little worried. I have not even washed half of my clothes here yet. Well, most tops, all jeans, but no shorts yet. And definitely none of the dresses. Because they are so pretty, I want to make sure I keep them for CNY (in case I can't find anything nice to wear).
The next trip won't be just me and my parents; bro and his gf are coming. So is my cousin. She better not get on my nerves man, close proximity for consecutive days don't do well for my tolerance level for her.

Aug. 1st, 2012

I cried, and there's no one I can turn to

I was listening to songs on YouTube when I suddenly felt so melancholy and that there's no one who understands my feelings. Not that I felt I had someone to share my current (at that time) feelings with anyway.
Afraid of being judged and all. And not to mention their shock when they have to suddenly deal with my sudden 'outburst'. What if they had something important to attend to but they had to comfort me through the phone? I would feel so bad after that.

And I cried. Like really. Those that got your eyes red even when you only cried for 30sec. Which I did. A short 30sec (I doubt I cried for even a minute. But I needed time to settle down after the short 30sec).
Even I shocked myself for crying so suddenly. I mean, the tears just came flowing down you know?! Never had that happening before since I'm used to masking my feelings.

It's times like this that I wished I had a boyfriend. Someone who would just hold and listen to me while I pour out everything. With no judgement. (You're probably judging me right at this moment, thinking like I can just rely on my girlfriends)
But I don't think I feel very safe even with my besties. I do share stuff with them. But they aren't everything I have kept bottled inside of me.
I'm sure they don't share with me all of their stuff too...

Well, I guess it was just the proposal vid of some blogger I watched today that made me feel that there's someone out there that's supposed to really understand you, not judge you for what you did and still be supportive and understanding.
(Ok, those were just what I felt after watching the vids and reading their blog)

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Jun. 24th, 2012

It's going to be a good day today :)

I woke up at 6+am to go running at the canal near my hse.
*applaude for me please*
Ok, sounds very nice to say running but I mostly jogged and walked. Haha.
And now I'm on my way to have mac breakfast the to the library to borrow books!
I need to read to survive. And when I don't read, I watch dramas to survive. They save me from going crazy from doing absolutely nothing at work. Ok, I do those to survive at home too.
Now I'm not going to bother acting like I have work to do anymore. I'm quitting anyway. Yay!
So I'm just going to read when I have nothing to do in the office.
I don't think my boss has found someone to take over yet, and I wonder if he still rmbs I'm quitting this coming fri.
But even if he can't find a replacement, I can't help it, cause I won't be here on the following mon (got camp). And I definitely will not be back on the sat just to teach the new admin girl (I'm going to assume it's a girl cause my boss believes girls are better than guys at this matter. Meticulous.)
Going to have lunch with Nich and Kelly later at The Loft!
I'm gonna have the strawberry and cream waffles. It's super delicious! :):)
*salivating*

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Jun. 20th, 2012

My day today

Sent out my letters today before work starts. Work is boring today. I did nothing at work today. Ok, I had something to submit today morn, but other than that I had nothing, the rest of the day was spent reading book, reading blog, write letter and it's time for me to end work.

I'm sure I mentioned before that I don't make friends easily. Thus, I don't believe friends I make at work would last after we split.
But I manage to keep in contact with Beatrice (someone from my previous telemarketing job). And I hope to keep in contact with the friend I made in my current job. One day when I read back on this particular post, I want to be able to point out that I'm talking abt Shanice and she's not just any friend I have on fb which I can no longer rmb.

Let's sidetrack. I'm typing this on the bus home.
I like/love babies. But I don't like them to touch me anyhow and whenever they like it. Even if I like them. And this particular baby is irritating me. Puts her fingers into her mouth and touch me with same hand. Disgusting max. Got to wash my cardigan when I get home. And I've only worn it once today. Irritated max!!

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Jun. 11th, 2012

Dreams...and other stuff

Dreams are very mysterious. Sometimes you dream of something totally impossible, sometimes you dream of situations that seem really realistic.

Let's talk abt smth that happened a few months ago before I talk more about my dreams.

Last Dec, I worked in Takashimaya as a toy promoter for my company. My working colleagues read 言情小说 so I thought I would bring some books and do a reading exchange with my colleagues. So K and L would get to read. K doesn't like 古装小说 so the first batch of books she didn't touch much. The second and third time I stopped bringing the 古装 anymore. But L do read the 古装 ones.
So last month, I have a sudden urge to re-read this 古装 book that I super love, call 同花弄. But I packed my bookshelves and I searched through every shelf which I assume it would be at, but I just can't find it!!
I was super sad ok.
So I thought I had really lost it, like K or L might have kept on hold it for super long. I initially suspected K, even though she hates 古装 haha. I wanted to text her if she saw that book before but she never ever replies to my SMSes so I didn't do so. Why u didn't call her? I guess I didn't really want to speak to her over the phone. She might not understand what I'm trying to say anw.

Then my suspicion went to L. Was still thinking through what I was going to explain to her (like the story plot) so that she could rmb if she has it or not. But I was still contemplating if I shld ask.

And then, I dreamt that I found my book (that particular book I was searching for) on my bookshelf. When I woke up, I went to to bookshelf that I dreamt about, but sadly, I can't find it :(
It's not in that particular bookshelf not was it at the position/spot that I dreamt it to be.

Then my eyes shifted lower to the bottom most shelf. I thought it can't be there since I love that book, I would naturally put it in a much higher shelf.
But guess what? MY BOOK WAS THERE!!

It was an euphoric moment when I saw that book. Was so happy I found it. Haha. Cause that particular book is the only book I have printed by that publisher, that's why it was on the bottom most shelf. That's where the lone books with no other friends from the same publisher go to. Haha. I'm gonna find some way to get it upgraded to higher shelves. Not going to bother abt it being a lone book from that publisher anymore.

2 days ago I went to {prologue} at ion to get some books since popular members get to enjoy discounts. I initially wanted to get a book called, I can read you like a book. But cause I can't rmb the title and only roughly the content, I ended up getting some book that traces you the signs to look out for when deciphering if someone is telling a lie.
Regret max!
So ytd I went to popular at clementi mall to get the correct book. Haha. But I still feel the pain when I think abt buying the wrong book.

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Jun. 2nd, 2012

My need to rant

Hello! Super long since I posted anything here. Wanted to post happy stuff but let me be angry and emo first.

Seriously hate my this current job sia. My boss has got not-very-good (trying to be nice here) time management. Usually makes ppl wait for at least 30mins from the time that they're supposed to meet. Then, I will mostly be the one that the interviewee hate cause the stupid meeting room is made of glass and my desk is right outside of it. U tell me, I where got so suay?!

And then, there's this one other guy, sometimes I think he's sure nice like a fatherly figure, other times, I suspect he has mental disorder. So right now I'm super cautious of him. Lol.
This guy ah, he always give me work to do de lo, sure, at the beginning I'm quite happy that he gives me work to do (cause its difficult to act like you got work to do but actually you got none). But nowadays he always give me work to do like nearing the end of my working hours. I'm like ok, I can stay (sometimes) but the ppl downstairs don't wait for you or me, you know. (Let me explain, my job scope is quite simple, I mainly just act like my boss's secretary and I'm also he only admin person, so I've got to help the other staff in the office send documents down to the scanner room for the documents to be submitted). So you think scanning very easy? Some papers are single paged and some are double. You want to keep a nice PDF file of all the scanned documents you got to manually flip the page to be scanned. You think that don't take time? He still tells me to send it down faster in future cause it's urgent. Excuse Me, if it's urgent, give it to me earlier! If I send it down at like 4.55pm, I'll get scolded (chided, actually, tend to exaggerate). 

Was fuming mad on the way home cause I actually planned to go collect my SGC with Kendra after work that day. But I couldn't make it cause he wanted me to try sending it down. So I ran back and ran down to the scanner room and ran back up again. Still, it took up so much time, I have to give up going to school to collect. I'm do going to take off on tues. I need to give myself an off day. Weekends not included cause I didn't have a great start. 

Ok, time for emo stuff. Haha. On the train, I felt like I wanted to scream and shout at ppl that didn't look 顺眼 to me. I felt like I needed to do that to release the anger in me, but being a Taurus, I held it in. And then I thought about another thing, enduring too much and keeping it within definitely isn't healthy. So every time I keep something in, I feel and tell myself (does it sound weird? Whatever) that everything is ok, but I'll feel like my heart is beating with difficulty. And it feels unhealthy like the kind where I'm going to die early. All the stupid ppl that makes me feel this way should have retribution.

I believe in karma! Though I might not be here when karma strikes down on them. 

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Jan. 9th, 2012

I'm not one to be trifled with

Just cause you've never seen me throw my temper doesn't mean I don't have one.

Really, I'm running out of patience soon. Normally I'm the kind of person who endures it and keeps quiet abt what I'm going through. But during those times, it was either just 1 person or 1 grp of ppl whom I hate. I can endure the things they put me through. But this time, it's tgt with the ppl that shld be on my side that's pushing me to the edge.

I'm really going to explode soon. Just like a typical taurean. We hardly lose our temper, but once we do, you better run for cover.

I'm not going to care if u're blood related to me or a friend whose company I appreciate or a . I will still show you what I'm capable of.

Everyone here thinks I'm just a displeased looking girl with no big temper. But u ppl don't know me at all, do you? I've got a fiery temper which u should be aware of. Don't treat me like a sick cat. I'm more of a sleeping lioness. May seem safe but I'm really scary when you open the floodgates and my emotions come gushing out.

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Dec. 8th, 2011

Working~

Goona be so late!! >.< wanted to reach at 11. And now it's alr 11.02 and I'm still stuck in a jam. Haven't even reach orchard yet... This time where got jam one sia? Super irritated!

I was working at Robinson the past few days and I CANNOT stand this girl at all. Very good at going MIA lo! Extremely talkative also. Very scary. I thought everyone was just exaggerating lo. Turns out to be true.

Hope I don't see her again. Got a bit of ah lian attitude. One of the things I hate lo.

Anw, I lost my phone. iPhone some more. On the 2nd day of work at Taka. Super 衰 sia. Lucky can recontract lo. But still need to pay $600+!! Super ex! :'(

Dad say to lie to bro that I paying back in 3 mnths installment. What he don't get is that I'm going to pay home back the money lo... Not by installment, mind you. So got to work super hard this month to earn money. Buying can and other thugs also. Super ex 1 leh... Need lots and lots of money. Christmas also coming. No money to buy gifts. *faint*

Okok. I'm alighting soon. Finally reaching lo! Sigh... Will try to update soon! ~

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Dec. 1st, 2011

It's after 'A's!

I assure you, this is going to be a super duper long post. Yay!



First, go listen to this song (If the flash don't work, my first time trying) [don't do anything else, just concentrate on the song, especially to the lyrics and imagine the scene in your head]

Lyrics:
She's sitting at the table, the hours get later
He was supposed to be here
She's sure he would have called
She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway
No one's said they've seen him
Why, is something wrong?
She looks back to the window
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice says something's happened
That she should come right now
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knees first
And he said

I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and always

She pulls up to the entrance
She walks right to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending
They talk about what happened but she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life
The house on the hillside, where they would stay

Stay there forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether rich or for poor or for better
We'll still love each other, forever and always

Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses
Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses
She borrows some rings from the couple next door
Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor
She looks into his eyes, and she says

I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always
Forever and always, forever and always

She finishes the vows but the beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
As he says, I love you forever, forever and always
Please just remember even if I'm not there
I'll always love you, forever and always

Isn't it sad? This was recommended by a friend. At first she saw the song forever and always by Taylor Swift and she exclaimed, "Oh, this song very sad and touching right!" "Er not really..." "Why not touching? Wait, who's the singer?" "Taylor Swift..." "Go listen to the one sang by Parachute!" (the conversation was somewhat like that lah...)

At first when I listened, my tears were threatening to pool, haha but I blocked off all emotions and just listened to the song like a robot (a robot that's void of emotions). Can't bear to cry in front of her...shows off the vulnerable side of me... But when I was listening to it today (ok, it's actually ytd because it's already 12.30am) in the bus on the way to dental, I teared in the bus and tears were threatening to fall! I was sniffing lo!

Ok, side-tracked and back to the topic, it's a damn nice song! I still refuse to believe that the guy died (said by my friend) but I have to admit that a small part of me actually agree that he died. But nevertheless, I'm still going to say: He did not die!
(Who doesn't want a happy ending?)
Putting the song on replay and I'm crying again...

I actually wanted to post the lyrics in this post but I decided not to. It (the post) will be too long!

Secondly, i created a twitter account lo. Used my real name, now someone has found me and I'm really determined to change it NOW! (I've already been contemplating to change it since a long time ago, but i just can't seem to decide on one before!)

The purpose of the twitter acc is so that I can post anything without those people I don't allow to read my thoughts (primarily my siblings lol)

Third, My teeth hurts a lot now because of dental today! :( It didn't use to hurt the previous few appointments. But then again, this time the dentist want to close up the gaps between the teeth.

Fourth, Before the end of 'A's, I was frantically planning things I wanna do after 'A's and even during the time before my last paper whenever I have abt a week break in-between papers. And now that it has officially ended for me, I find that I have NOTHING to do! It's either that or it's that I just don't feel like doing it. Ironic, huh?

When you want to escape from reality, you believe you have to so certain things though it shouldn't be so. But then when all has passed, you find yourself with nothing to do at all.

I feel like I've lost all sense of directions with what I should do. Worse, with what I Want to do.

Hmm, I think the post ain't that long after all..
I was doing the usual staring into the space and think: What should I do now? Use the com? Surf the net? Shop online? Watch videos? Nah... I don't feel like doing any of those... Oh, I've not posted in my livejournal for a long while! Maybe I shall post one now!
I could actually post it using my phone without using the com, but I thought I could post the video in this post using the com while my phone can't. So here I am, in front of my com now posting. I thought I couldn't post the video, but I can! Haha, kinda proud of myself. Lol. I not very IT-savvy ok. Since the post is not as long as I thought, I decided to post the lyrics too!

Ok, I'm tired, planning to head down to bugis tmr to check out some shops and to scout for cheap fake eyelash (maybe I'll get it online... Anyone know any cheap deals?), maybe get gelish nails though I don't really think I will get it done because I'm afraid to go in alone ;x then I'm going to go raffles place at night!
Going to look through the lyrics to make sure there's no mistake before going to change my twitter name and I shall head for bed!
Night! ;)

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